and so it begins...

The dreaded 2ww. Which, to be fair, isn't even a full two weeks. More like 11 days, with my first hormone-level check just five days after transfer.

And yet.

I feel it's going to be a long eleven days.

Last night, I felt a few uterine twinges and some low back soreness, like I get around ovulation and AF. My guess is that it was a little cramping from the procedure itself and/or progesterone, since I did a shot last night. We were at a family dinner and didn't get home until after midnight, but I couldn't sleep right away. I didn't tuck in until after 1:30 a.m. and then was up at 6:40 to pee. I haven't been able to fall asleep since.

As I type this, I'm feeling slightly nauseated. Is it psychosomatic or am I just hungry? Thirsty? I pounded water and other beverages all day yesterday, but I do tend to be drier in the winter, when the heat is constantly going. We keep the house at 65 degrees but it's been so cold I barely hear the heater turn off.

To get my mind off of imaginary "symptoms" and concerns over my inability to stay asleep (it has to be excitement/anxiety, right?), I figured I'd give an EZ Diet update.

Here's a quick timeline:

10/6: Start working out with the 21 Day Fix DVDs again.
10/13: Start the EZ Diet; record starting weight.
11/2; Start estrogen priming.
11/10: Start stims.
11/14: Last 21 Day Fix workout.
11/20: Stop stims.
11/21: Trigger w/ Ovidrel.
11/23: Retrival day.
11/24: Start PIO injections, every other evening.
11/25: Start progesterone pessaries.
11/28: Transfer day; start Lovenox and prednisone.
11/29: Starting estrogen.

Between 10/13 and 11/14, I lost 9.8 lbs. total. Between 11/14 and 11/23, I lost an additional 1.8 lbs., bringing the grand total to 11.6 lbs. Between 11/23 and this morning, I've lost a whopping 7 lbs.

Grand total lost: 18.8 lbs. in just under 7 weeks.

I have some theories about this. For one thing, the first time I did the 21 Day Fix DVDs, I started building muscle almost immediately. Building muscle, especially in the beginning, makes you retain water. You start losing muscle mass about a week after you stop the resistance/weight training, as well as the water you retained when you were building muscle to begin with. So, it's entirely possible that some of that 7 lbs. is water weight.

For another, I historically gain weight in the four to six days prior to ovulation. I don't know if it's the rise in estrogen or something else wacky but I've followed this pattern ever since I started charting my cycles. Then, about a day or two post-ovulation, I drop weight like crazy. A few years back, when I was doing Weight Watchers with the BFF, I would get so discouraged because each week I'd lose like 1 lb. or .8 lbs. or 1.4 lbs. Then, the weigh-in after ovulation, I'd drop like 3.5 to 5 lbs.

After my first IUI, Dr. God Complex had me taking progesterone pessaries, 400 MG once a day and then later twice a day. I lost like 10 lbs. that cycle, no joke. Every time I'm given progesterone after a cycle, I drop a LOT of weight in a very short amount of time. I don't know if this is water weight or actual weight or what, but I don't tend to put it back on right away. This was not the case with my back-to-back IVFs, for which I took estrogen supplements right after transfer.

I start the estrace again today.

So, I'm going to enjoy this 18.8 lbs. today and know that tomorrow, some weight may start creeping back on. Or, it may not. I'm eating so much healthier than I did with most of my cycles. Even with the holidays!

For Thanksgiving, when I didn't have any eggs/embies on board, I cheated a little: two bites of stuffing, two bites of scalloped potatoes, a couple of tablespoons of homemade applesauce, a small drizzle of gravy, two spoonfuls of rice pudding, two bites of apple pie, two bites of pumpkin. Mostly I tried to fill up on turkey, green beans, and corn, and ate a lot of turkey before I indulged at all to try to reduce any spikes in insulin.

Last night, at my second Thanksgiving, when I did have two embies on board, I cheated even less: a smaller drizzle of gravy over my turkey, a spoonful of wild rice (which, technically, is on the So-So List and not even a true cheat), one small bite of a cake-like thing my aunt made and one small bite of pumpkin pie.

I'm determined to stay as strict as possible until beta. If it's positive, then I'll stay as strict as possible until the end of the first trimester at least.

Here's the thing: the EZ Diet actually does allow me to eat more outside of the Good list than I typically do. I'm not on the restrictive phase any more, and haven't been for three weeks. This means that, according to the diet, I can have items on the Bad List 2-3 times a week, items on the So-So List 3-4 times a week, and a Cheat Day once a week. I could never determine if it's meant to be a whole day of cheating or just one meal, but I haven't been indulging regardless because, hi, trying to create a tiny human here.

Right now my larger concern is inflammation, and trying to control it. This is why I've been eating half of an avocado at breakfast almost every morning. I'm lucky in that I am not insulin resistant - my fasting blood sugars are perfect and not even close to prediabetic range - but I have this huge fear of inflammation and it wrecking implantation. Is it an irrational fear? I don't know. But I do know I'm pretty happy with how this cycle has turned out so far.

Tonight, Mr. Hope and I are having dinner with Kindred and her husband, and I'm so excited. I don't remember if I posted this here but Kindred is PREGNANT with one healthy singleton from her 10/30 transfer. We've both confessed having dorky fantasies about being pregnant together. I'm hoping - WISHING, PRAYING, HOPING - that this particular dorky fantasy becomes my uber-dorky reality!