it's time to call it.

So there's a lead follie. Again. When I went in for my check today, I had five follicles (versus the four I had last time): 6, 8, 9, 12, and 17.

"Looks like that big guy sucked up all the meds," Anti Q-caps told me. 

No shit.

On the bright side, my lining was at 6.9 with a triple stripe. So, it should be perfectly fluffy in time for transfer.

Driving home, I kept thinking, Looks like my body is every bit as stubborn as my brain. It's true. No matter what I use for priming, or what I inject into my body, or what supplements I swallow, or what foods I do or do not eat - the end result is always the same: one follicle. One embryo.

No pregnancy.

I wasn't sad when I was thinking this, or even angry. I was just...okay. Like I was finally making my peace with the situation. This cycle in particular, I gave it my absolute best shot, and there isn't a damn thing I could've done differently.

I go back tomorrow for another check. Anti Q-caps told me that I would be going to retrieval either Sunday or Monday. I think they would like to tease it out until Monday to limit what Dr. Smiles and his crew has to do on Sunday (understandable). Also, they were talking about thawing the donors out the day after retrieval, and if they do that, it would put transfer on Thanksgiving (I think). 

It kind of bothers me that ANY decisions about this cycle could be made based on weekends or holidays, but it's out of my hands now. 

I'm just ready to move on to whatever comes next.