Thursday, June 25, 2015


Baby's size: Bell pepper or sweet potato.

Next appointment: July 7

Total weight gain: 37.2 lbs. Up 7 lbs. from last week. I've officially stopped weighing myself every day, because it makes me too depressed.

Exercise: I worked on a farm over the weekend and went swimming for hours on Monday, but then my hands swelled so much that when I woke Tuesday I couldn't make fists. The OB has ordered me indoors. She says it's too hot and humid for me to be outside. Funsies.

Sleep: Still crappy. Still bouncing from bed to couch and back again.

Food cravings: French fries. But the good kind, not the fast food ones.

Symptoms: The swollen hands thing is daily now. Oh, and I'm snoring again. I'm terrified I'm developing sleep apnea but Mr. Hope assures me it's garden variety snoring.

What I'm loving: Pass.

What I'm not loving: The pain and swelling in my hands. The returning fear that I'm not going to make it - that I'm going to lose this baby.

What I'm looking forward to: My level 2 u/s.

Best moment this week: Eh.

Thursday, June 18, 2015


Baby's size: Turnip, pear, or onion.

Next appointment: July 7

Total weight gain: 30.2 lbs. Which means I'm up 4 lbs. from last week. Is this the new meds? Too many carbs? What?

Exercise: Not much this week. Yoga again and am scheduled to go walking tonight. I've been sick, which hasn't helped.

Sleep: The first two nights of Unisom = awesome. Then they started me on Labetalol (a beta blocker, for BP) on Saturday, and I stopped sleeping again. Mostly I'm just tired, like, all of the time.

Food cravings: Carbs. My stomach was upset early in the week and all food seemed gross to me. One night for dinner I ate a sleeve of unsalted saltines and nothing else. On Tuesday, I ate egg and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat English muffins for breakfast and lunch. Yesterday I finally ate some fruit and veggies again, so maybe this upset stomach thing is finally passing.

Symptoms: Finger/hand/arm numbness continues! Now it's not just in the mornings. My left eye oozes snot all day long and by night time is crusting shut. I'm super tired. My nipples are so dark they're almost black. I feel huge and ugly and gross 95% of the time. The other 5%? Is when I'm actually sleeping.

What I'm loving: Not a whole hell of a lot. I'm not going to lie; this week has been rough.

What I'm not loving: The Labetalol. My current depression. Being pregnant. There, I said it. Pregnancy is ugly and uncomfortable and gross. There is a parasite in my body. I wanted that parasite and I love him with all of my heart, but right now, I'm just trying to get through each day without losing my shit.

What I'm looking forward to: Feeling like a human again. And when will that be, exactly?

Best moment this week: We heard Jellybean's heartbeat for the first time last Friday. I was so stunned that she found it right away that my jaw dropped. I didn't even think to record it or anything. But it was a beautiful sound.

Thursday, June 11, 2015


Baby's size: Avocado!

Next appointment: June 12 (is in TOMORROW, at along last)

Total weight gain: 26 lbs. If you've been following the saga of my weight gain, you'll notice that I'm only up .2 lbs. from last week. And actually, I was up more - like another 5 lbs. - but it's started falling off. I'm now off the prednisone entirely, and it's been a little over a month since I stopped the HCTZ, so here's hoping my body's starting to get back to normal. Finally.

Exercise: Started prenatal yoga on Sunday. Was surprised and relieved to discover that I could keep up with the thin preggos. Went walking at the gym with the BFF on Monday. Thirty minutes at a snail's pace, but when I had the incline at 1 and tried to walk faster, I got little pangs in my uterus. So, slow and steady it is. Today I'm doing my workout DVD. It's good to be moving again.

Sleep: Eludes me. This week has been the worst. I thought the exercise would help but it hasn't. I think part of the problem is that I'm a stomach sleeper. I was told this was okay until it was uncomfortable, and once it was uncomfortable I'd have to stop. Guess what? It's uncomfortable now. I spend most nights bouncing between my bed and the couch. And because I have such a hard time falling asleep, I start to get anxiety at bedtime. Based on the advice of my online support group, I purchased Unisom. It should arrive today. Fingers crossed that it brings relief!

Food cravings: I really wanted pepperoni pizza the other night. Like, badly. So I made the dinner I had planned - a quinoa salad loaded with veggies - and then Mr. Hope and I ordered a medium pepperoni. We ate the salad while waiting for the pizza to arrive. When it did, we discovered that the slices were small, like little triangles, so I had two. Craving satisfied. And I still lost weight that night, probably because I've been slamming water and powerloading fruits and veggies. So. No harm, no foul.

Symptoms: Pregnancy rhinitis to the nth degree. It's gotten worse as I weaned off the prednisone. Also I have this weird thing that my right hand goes numb in the mornings. Considering seeing the chiropractor or scheduling a pregnancy massage. Oh, and the insomnia thing. That's really fun.

What I'm loving: Precious Pup. We've been getting in extra snuggle time and playing lots of fetch. I don't know what it is about him but he's even more adorable than normal.

What I'm not loving: The sleep deprivation. And also the people who remark, "Just wait! It gets worse once you have the baby!" Yeah, I get it. I'm never going to sleep again. Thanks, world.

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing Dr. Direct tomorrow. Not sure if I get an u/s or if we just hear the baby's heartbeat, but either way it will be good to have proof that Jellybean's doing fine.

Best moment this week: Seeing the scale go down. I know I'm like a broken record about this, but it felt really good.

[Side note: I've been the worst blogger lately. And there's so much that I want to write about. It's just that I'm used to getting up early in the AM, and that's when I'd write. But with the lack of sleep, sometimes I'm pushing it until 8 a.m. or later, just trying to get some rest before I have to go to work. Making it a goal to do more, because there's so much I want to document!]

Thursday, June 4, 2015


Baby's size: Apple or orange.

Next appointment: June 12.

Total weight gain: 25.8 lbs. I'm at a total loss right now. I'm not eating anywhere near enough calories to be putting on this much weight. I'd really hoped that stopping the hormones would help, but so far it hasn't. I honestly don't even know what to say.

Exercise: Struggling. The extra weight I've put on makes me winded pretty quickly. But, I've been doing some walking and I start yoga on Sunday. Next week it's the gym.

Sleep: Have stopped drinking before bed (trying to quit liquids two hours prior) and that's helped with the waking and peeing thing. Still get up every night between 2:30 and 3:30 a.m. sick from hunger. Feel exhausted nearly all of the time.

Food cravings: Beef. Fruit. Fresh veggies. Not so bad.

Symptoms: Aching breasts, heightened sense of smell. Not so much on the vivid dreams this week. I pretty much have to eat every 2-3 hours or I feel sick. And I'm kind of swollen.

What I'm loving: Not so much what as who. Mr. Hope has been saint-like, even when I get crazy hangry or moody or whatever. We've been having a lot of fun together, too. I'm so happy that I'm going to make him a daddy again!

What I'm not loving: The weight gain. I won't complain about it. Y'all know it's killing me.

What I'm looking forward to: The weekend! Lots of fun stuff happening, but even more than that: I GET TO SLEEP IN.

Best moment this week: Saturday night I had friends over. Everything I put on made me look pregnant. Duh, I am pregnant! Gumbo put her hand on my belly and commented on my firm bump. It was the first time I didn't feel like Jabba the Hut. I actually took a bump picture with my phone - the first I've ever taken.