Thursday, June 25, 2015

18w0d.

Baby's size: Bell pepper or sweet potato.

Next appointment: July 7

Total weight gain: 37.2 lbs. Up 7 lbs. from last week. I've officially stopped weighing myself every day, because it makes me too depressed.

Exercise: I worked on a farm over the weekend and went swimming for hours on Monday, but then my hands swelled so much that when I woke Tuesday I couldn't make fists. The OB has ordered me indoors. She says it's too hot and humid for me to be outside. Funsies.

Sleep: Still crappy. Still bouncing from bed to couch and back again.

Food cravings: French fries. But the good kind, not the fast food ones.

Symptoms: The swollen hands thing is daily now. Oh, and I'm snoring again. I'm terrified I'm developing sleep apnea but Mr. Hope assures me it's garden variety snoring.

What I'm loving: Pass.

What I'm not loving: The pain and swelling in my hands. The returning fear that I'm not going to make it - that I'm going to lose this baby.

What I'm looking forward to: My level 2 u/s.

Best moment this week: Eh.

10 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Hanging in there. Thank you for everything, Sara. :)

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  2. Dear Mrs Agony.

    I found your blog eight weeks ago. I'm also 18 weeks pregnant and this is my first baby too. On those early weeks, you described my feelings in such an accurate way, I looked forward to each of your posts, I read them and felt understood. Somehow after reading this entry I felt I had to write you.. you helped a lot on the first weeks.. I hope I can do the same for you.

    Pregnancy is hard, I know. From week 6 to week 14 I threw up 3 times a day, I can't stand food, I have been in the ER 5 times. On the weekends I sleep 16 hours, I want to do nothing all day... at work, my mind is not what it used to be, pregnancy brain is a real thing. I'm sleepy all day, I can´t sleep at night. Hormones have taken control of me, I cry out of nothing, I have no tolerance for the people I work with, I can´t stand my boss, and some days I feel like the worst decision I've ever made was getting married with my dear husband.

    I'm also having weight issues. I haven´t gained a single pound since I got pregnant, if fact I lost 4 lbs and now I'm back where I started (under my ideal weight). I also dreamt of having no one but three girls, boys were never in my plan, and like you I´m carrying a baby boy.

    I have felt miserable too. But I made a decision: I decided to love every single moment of my pregnancy. I don't know for sure if I'll ever be pregnant again, so I want to enjoy it, despite of everything. I assure you that your mind is more powerful than any anti-depressive, if you want to feel better, decide to be better and I know this sounds strange, but thank God for each weird symptom and appreciate it, you might miss it after the baby is born.

    I´m not having a girl as I wanted. Instead I´m having a boy. Today I'm sure that God has given me not what I want, but what I need. So I have decided to love this baby boy more than my life. Maybe he has done unpleasant things to my body, but for sure I have never been happier, and once I hold him in my arms, my life will be full.

    Why don’t you try something, for each bad feeling or bad though you have, think about one good moment you will have with your baby…. I had worked for me, and I really hope it works for you.

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    1. Thank you for writing. I'm only now seeing your comment, as I've been off the grid for several weeks. Thank you for reaching out. I really appreciate it - and your perspective. :)

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  3. Been thinking about you lately- hope you are feeling better! xx

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    1. You're very sweet. I'm sorry I fell off the face of the earth. Pregnancy and me aren't getting a long, but I'm hanging in there. Now I need to catch up on your blog!

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  4. Just checking in to see how things are going. I'm hoping that all is going well!

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    1. I'm hanging in there. It's been rough, but Jellybean is perfect, and that's what I'm trying to focus on right now.

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