Monday, March 16, 2015

3w4d.

Went to bed earlier than usual last night. Kind of like a kid on Christmas Eve - "The earlier I go to bed, the quicker Santa can get here and bring me my presents!" Only in this case, the present would be a darker FRER (hopefully).

Seven and a half hours later, Santa came to town:


Yesterday's test was so light that I only texted pictures to three people: the BFF, Gumbo, and Cycle Buddy (the woman in my FB group who transferred the day before I did and is also pregnant). But today's was clear enough that I felt comfortable sharing it with a few of my IF friends, too.

It feels both real and not real. I have been "officially" pregnant for what? Two days? My mind runs through the possibilities. Chemical. Blighted ovum. Early miscarriage. Etc.

Tomorrow I have my mid-2WW hormone level check and I'm going to see if they'll run the first beta just so I don't have to be all panicky between now and next Monday, when my OTD is. My second pack of FRER arrived Saturday and I have a third on the way (don't judge). Even though I know I'll be peeing on things between now and then I still want to see a strong beta - and, more importantly - a properly doubling beta.

This is the next big hurdle. The first major milestone I missed last time around.

The good news is that I'm not really obsessing (yet). Yesterday I blew off half the stuff on my to-do list BUT it was so I could rest after a marathon grocery shopping session (three stores, all of which were jam-packed with people).

This, I suppose, is my top goal for the next few weeks. To take it easy. To rest when I need to. To not stress the eff out, no matter what else is going on in my life - including the looming deadline for my freelance project. Everything will get done when it gets done, and nothing is life or death except this baby burrowing in for what I hope will be a long, long haul.

9 comments:

  1. I can see both lines and day 6 definitely is darker. CONGRATS!!

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    1. Thank you! Today, I'm grinning (just a little). :)

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  2. I can totally see the line in the first test and I didn't even have to try and see it! Horray for the line getting darker! I am very excited for you! I know this brings lots of anxiety as well as joy and hope. Praying for the next few weeks to be rather uneventful and as stress free as possible!!.....You are pregnant!!!!!

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    1. Thank you! I have been in a good mood - not too terribly anxiety-ridden. There was a moment this morning, waiting for the line to come up, that I felt REALLY anxious. But this afternoon I can barely keep my eyes open and I got plenty of sleep last night, so I'm wondering if it's just the effort of creating a tiny human. I hope so!

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  3. Awesome lines! Both easy to see and the more recent one definitely darker! If they do your beta early don't be surprised if it is really low. Mine was only 30 at 12 dpo and i got a faint positive at 9dpo (but fainter than yours). I hope you get some great numbers and in the meantime keep peeing on sticks!!!

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    1. This is why I'm not sure they'll even let me do my beta tomorrow, but since I'll already be there for a hormone check, I'm hoping they will. I really just want to see that number doubling normally, even if I have to get six betas over time (does that make sense?).

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    2. Totally makes sense! And starting those betas early, even if the first number is low, will give you a heads up on doubling time. I hope they will let you do it. Its much more reassuring than the pee sticks!

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  4. Beautiful lines! Can't remember if you transferred one or two?
    Obsession, worry, overthinking, over analyzing.... it will never end. But also hope, happiness, dreams, wishful thinking.... will never end.
    Today is a good day! One day at the time!

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    1. We transferred two, a B and a B-. :)

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