impatience.

The scale has stopped moving.

I was down 7.2 lbs. Then, yesterday, I went up .4 lbs. Today, back down .2 lbs. Meanwhile, I have been following the EZ Diet perfectly - in fact, I haven't even had any trace sugar in the past three days. My meals are appropriately sized, I'm working out every day, and I'm drinking tons of water. Plus, I'm only on CD5, so it's way too early to be putting on ovulation bloat.

And yes, I know this is why they tell people NOT to look at the scale more than once a week when dieting/exercising. Because it's crazy-making. Clearly.

But but but

I'm working hard, and I want to see results. Like, REAL results. 

Yesterday I felt like crap. I had a massive headache that wouldn't quit. I was tired, I was achy, I was unmotivated. I had an intake appointment with the infertility therapist, and her office turned out to be close to my house so I went home afterward to finish up my work day from there. But it was slow going. 

Then, when I logged off for the night, there were literally a dozen things that I should have been doing. Only, I couldn't make myself do anything. 

I turned into a vegetable.

Here's where I confess: Sunday, I quit caffeine. Cold turkey, because honestly, I had one Keurig pod a day. I didn't think that itty bitty amount would have affected me so much. On Sunday, I didn't even notice the caffeine was missing! 

But yesterday? Oh dear god, YESTERDAY.

Today I'm still achy, but I think that has more to do with the workout I did on Monday. It was Plyo Fix, based on plyometrics (jumping), only I had to follow the chunky modifier lady on the DVD, who didn't jump so much as squat and raise up on her toes. I love Kat; she's in every 21 Day Fix DVD and I often have to follow her modifications. And even though I called her "chunky" she's really only chunky in relation to other size 0 women in the DVDs; I would actually kill to be Kat's size.

Even so, I got up this morning, and did my Upper Fix DVD, and now I will drag my weary, detoxing ass into the office for a full day of work. And then tonight, after work, I will be a saint-type person and go have hot, caffeine-free beverage with someone I barely know, because she just moved back to the area and is lonely and I'm too nice to say I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR THE FRIENDS I HAVE, WHY WOULD I ACTIVELY MAKE NEW ONES? (Okay, so maybe I am NOT a saint-type person. Maybe I'm just a sucker with no boundaries.)

Tomorrow Mr. Hope and I go to the infertility therapist together, for our donor embryo counseling session. Once that's completed I will have all of my pre-reqs done for the cycle (Mr. Hope and I spent literally hours on Saturday running to different labs to get all of our blood work done). So, there's that.

Meanwhile...

Would it hurt the scale to go down just a little? I mean, really.