Monday, August 24, 2015

where did the month go?

To the handful of you who follow this blog and worry about me when I am not updating it regularly: I am so incredibly sorry that I keep disappearing.

Four weeks ago today, I got a call from the manager of that freelance project I thought I finished in early June. Her bosses loved the project but wanted some significant changes to it. Me making those changes could lead to bigger opportunities for me, so I agreed to dive in. Only, I had exactly three weeks to make all of those significant changes. Hence the disappearing act.

I finished the project (again) last Monday and have been trying to catch up on life ever since. And then Mini-Hope came to spend the weekend with us - it was a fun visit but my time is never my time when the kiddo is here (not that I'm complaining!).

Suffice it to say: I've been busy.

As of today, I am 26W4D. There has been SO much going on, you guys. So much. I need to go back and fill in my weekly updates, which I write for me more than anyone - they're a great way to keep track of the pregnancy.

But first things first: Jellybean is still 100%, as far as I know. At the last round of ultrasound we got a profile shot of him that was so perfect I kept joking it had to be fake - like stock photography of what an ultrasound is supposed to look like. If I get some time I'll scan it and upload it to a post; that's how perfect it is.

I am not quite as perfect. Okay, I'm kind of a hot mess. As of this morning I am up 64 lbs. total, but the scary part is that 7 of those have found their way onto my gargantuan body in the last four days ALONE. My hands have been extra-special hurty lately, super-swollen and numb and yet riddled with sharp, stabbing pain all at the same time. Oh, and remember how I thought I dodged the gestational diabetes bullet? Yeah, not so much. Even though there were only a few readings above where they were supposed to be, they slapped that label on my fat ass right quick. So now I'm doing finger sticks 4 times a day until I deliver.

But here's the very best part:

A couple of weeks ago I went for an EKG. This is apparently standard with Maternal Fetal Medicine for women who go through IVF. My EKG was clean but when I was at the cardiologist, her student intern thought she heard a slight murmur. So, they sent me for an echocardiogram. During that, they didn't find a murmur but they did find increased lung pressure. The cardiologist called me this past Friday to tell me about that. She said it could be something or it could be nothing and that she wanted to repeat the echo in early September. She didn't sound all that concerned, though.

Fast forward about three hours, when my OB's nurse calls to tell me that I need to be seen next week (as in, this week) because of the cardiologist. I was like, "Um, when I talked to her this morning she seemed like this was NBD. What changed?" The nurse tells me that nothing changed, per se, but they're concerned by the amount of edema I have and are considering putting me on Lasix.

Here's me: "Wait, so you took me off a diuretic because it was dangerous to the baby, and that led to all of these health problems, and now you want to put me back on it? Did it stop being dangerous to the baby?"

Here's her: "Just come in and talk to Dr. Direct."

Can I just tell you how incredibly pissed I was? I mean, seriously. Every single problem leads back to when they had me stop the HCTZ. I went from gaining a total of 9 lbs. in the first trimester to 17 within a single week. I developed high blood pressure. I developed pitting edema in my hands, feet, ankles, calves, and stomach. I developed bilateral carpal tunnel. I developed sleep apnea.

So then I do the Google thing and find out that Lasix is pregnancy Category C. As in, DO NOT TAKE. As in, DANGEROUS TO BABY. But the drug I was on, the HCTZ, is Category B. As in, could be harmful but probably isn't. There's a woman on my super-secret Facebook group who said she took the same drug throughout her entire pregnancy and had exactly zero problems with her baby.

I go back to the cardiologist tomorrow and am prepared to fight them on the Lasix. I refuse to take a drug that has been known to induce spontaneous abortion and infant death. Not after everything I've been through. I'm not even that excited about the possibility of resuming the HCTZ, even though every cell in my body is crying out for a diuretic right now, because I don't want to take anything that could hurt my little Jellybean.

Anyway, so that's the short of what's up with me. I'm behind on my blog writing and I'm behind on my blog reading, because I pretty much suck. Again, my apologies.

More soon - I promise!


  1. It is so unfair that after dealing with IF and loss, that you can't just have a normalish pregnancy!!

    The amount of edema you have is alarming. Are they sure you aren't pre-eclamptic? Have they checked your liver function? Or done a 24 hour urine?
    I am sorry about the Gestational Diabetes. I have been there before. I may be there again, but I am still waiting on my test results from my 3-hour test a week ago. ( I decided to skip the one hour since I have a history of it and would only have to drink the nasty glucola just once that way.) I am not sure why it's taking so long to find out, but I keep calling the doctor's office to check. I am worried about having it and not knowing/starting treatment right away. Ugh.
    Glad you updated and are mostly ok. Super happy Jellybean is doing so well. I look forward to reading your weekly updates, whenever you get the chance to post them!

    1. Didn't want to answer until after today's OB visit. No protein in the urine, and BP is great. So no pre-e yet. Just a lot of fluid!

      Did you get the results of your test yet?

    2. Very glad about the pre-e. Prayers it stays that way. I have just never heard of someone swelling like that for no real reason!!

      No, I still don't have my results. Long story, but between me using a new (to me) lab, and a new front office staff with new procedures at my Ob's office, it has been a nightmare. As of lunchtime yesterday they ~should~ have the results so I am hoping by Friday I get a call, since they aren't at that office today. Totally frustrating!
      Enjoy your baby moon!!

    3. Ugh, I'm sorry you're having trouble getting your results. That would drive me crazy!

      I'm fully expecting to develop pre-e at some point. Even my OB was like, "You're set up for it." But hoping I can stave it off until 32 weeks because they can likely maintain it for a few unless it's severe from the get-go.

      I do think the swelling is because of being taken off the HCTZ, which I was on for 10 years. But maybe I'm wrong?

  2. Good luck at your appt. I hope they can figure out a solution that helps you feel better but isn't as risky to Jellybean.

    1. Supposedly I could've stayed on the HCTZ the entire pregnancy. But Dr. Direct isn't a fan. In fact, she told me today she would've rather I do a week of Lasix, which she prescribes all of the time. According to her, she's never known it to cause a birth defect or baby death. I trust her, but still. Definitely feel more comfortable with the Cat B drug.

  3. No need to apologize for disappearing. We just worry about you when we don't hear from you in a while! But you certainly do not suck for getting behind on blog reading and writing- you have got far more important things going on at the moment! Sorry to hear about the GD, and I hope they can sort out the other issues without you having to go on a class C drug. 26 weeks done- 14 more to go if you were to go to your due date (but maybe less than that if they will look at an earlier delivery if your blood pressure is high??). Hang in there! You can do this, carpal tunnel, edema and all, and before you know it you will be meeting your Jellybean. (Hope that is a good pep talk and not just an annoying... thing...I am a bit sleep deprived...and am heading off to bed now to remedy that!)

    1. I swear, I love your pluckiness. Like, sincerely.

      OB is thinking week 36/37 for delivery. If I can make it to 36, I'd be thrilled!

  4. Ugh. What a mess. First, I'm glad you worked on a project that might lead to better things. Second, yay for a good visit with the little one. Third, have you thought about getting a second opinion with your edema etc.? I know it's hard not to trust the doctors but it sounds like they are getting ready to lead you down a potentially dangerous path. It sucks that you can't just enjoy being pregnant. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. Oh, the carpal tunnel will likely stay with you until a couple months after the birth. It did with me and it was awful. It wasn't until all the pregnancy hormones vacated my body that my wrists stop hurting. I'm glad Jellybean is doing great, though. I'm sure you are feeling all sorts of movements and kicks by this point. That is what I miss the MOST about the pregnancy. That and the great hair I had. :-) Good luck with your doctor...I hope they listen to you and that you can find some relief very soon.

    1. Yes, I'm enjoying the great hair, too. I lose NONE in the shower. It's thick and wavy and looks good even when I don't do anything. So, yeah. Feeling you there.

      I'm feeling movements but not anything I could do kick counts with. I think because there's a lot of excess fluid in my uterus. But we go back for more u/s next Thursday, so I'll know more then about that.

      The carpal tunnel isn't in my wrists, oddly enough. It's my hands. My fingers. My thumb hurt so badly the other night I bit it. And for someone who uses her hands all day long, it's pure torture. :(

  5. Ugh so sorry about the diabetes and diuretic mess!!! I hope your dr has some answers. Thanks for checking in, I was worried!! Congrats on getting to 26're doing great Momma!